Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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