did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
