you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
