I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
