so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
