if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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