i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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