Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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