singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
