His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize