Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
