Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
