Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
