I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Randomize
