so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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