respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
