Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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