bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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