hotel room ftw
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
