he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
