Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
