I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
