We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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