The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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