Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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