You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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