I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
