His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
