You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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