I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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