508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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