New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
