I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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