my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
