After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Life is so much better after having sex.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
