something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
