Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
