i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm like, not good at living.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
