I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
