like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
