This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
handjob tips. give me some.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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