I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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