I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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