Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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