oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize