Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
