I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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