his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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