Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
