Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
