god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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