It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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