oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
