is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
