Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
