I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
