I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Randomize
