you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
