ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you still have your period?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
