Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
