DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There r osticjed everywhere
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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