We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
that's an acceptable place to lick
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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