Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
