they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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