doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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