I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
