yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
