I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
