I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
