Buhtt sex?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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