She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I want you more than these girls want KFC
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
