I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
