Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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